You are so beautiful

So I was walking around in a depressed state of mind last night, just listening to my iPod when I turned on Joe Cocker's "You are so beautiful" (a perfect sappy song) and it hit me how much I love Joe Cocker and how I've missed him.

I haven't listened a lot to his music lately, because I've been busy with a lot of different music. But Joe Cocker, the man breaks my heart. I think of him like a grandfather of some kind, because his music brings me that feeling of security and love.

I've always loved his raw voice. I bought my first Joe Cocker CD when I was around 10 years old, I think, and I would listen to it whenever possible. And slowly I would discover new and more edgy music, but I would always turn back to old Joe. And now I have again.

I spent the rest of the night in my bed, just listening to him in the dark. It was wonderful.

Songs like "Unchain My Heart", "Summer in the City" and "With a Little Help from my Friends", which he performed at Woodstock back in his long-haired days. Notice how he acts on stage. It's perfection. I remember mimicking his movements after I saw his Woodstock performances on the telly. There's really something about it all. It's truly amazing music.

Cry Over Me

By Meatloaf. Awesome song, truly is. I heard it yesterday while out walking. The weather was kind of bleek, but I like it that way. I was feeling a bit weird, but in a good way, and suddenly Meatloaf's strong voice just enters my head with truly passionate words that fit my state of being right at that moment. This song was really what I was feeling right at that time. So I had to put it on repeat and just let the music wrap around me and enter my brain AND CONSUME ME. AAAARGH.

Here's the lyrics, mah dudes.

Another night sleepless

I don't want to feel this

Nothing can stop this pain

Trying to get to

A time I forget you

Still tangled in yesterday

It's so easy for you

To give nothing for me

Did you ever feel anything?

I want you to cry over me

Die over me

Even for a moment

Even for a moment

I want you to hurt over me

Feel what I feel

I want you to cry over, die over me

Baby, just for one time

I want your heart broken

Some sign of emotion

I want to see the tears tumble down

Show me I meant something

And that you feel nothing

But your world crashing to the ground

And then enter some chorus and some repetition. Anyway, Meatloaf's voice is just so powerful and strong and it really touches your soul if you let it. It's great.

Here's the music video. Seriously, it rocks and it touches your heart. It touched mine.

I will make you hurt

So Nine Inch Nails is one of my favourite bands - wait, haha, listen to me! It's not ONE of them, it's my favourite band of all time! Bla bla bla! Anyway, I wanted to do a post about "Hurt", a very beloved and well-known song. I reckon that most people know it thanks to Johnny Cash, a music legend that covered a lot of songs in the last years of his life. He made a cover of NIN's very brutal and honest song and there's many a battle on teh internets about who's version rocks the most.
I myself am a big fan of the Nine Inch Nails version, because it's my favourite band and Trent Reznor (who IS the band) is a god to me. But Johnny Cash's version has a lot of power aswell. Actually, both songs deal with a lot of emotion and hurt, but in two completely different ways. Cash's version is very haunting because it was recorded just prior to his death and it contains memories and regrets and ... his life. His voice and the fact that it's played on an acoustic guitar really fits the mood of the song.
BUT! Reznor's version shows a much more destructive side of a person and the depression a lot of people deal with. Underneath the sadness I detect some anger too, which fits ME especially good, since I'm a very angry person. I love the industrial, edgy sound of his version aswell. And well, Trent Reznor wrote the damn song, it's his song. And the lyrics are beautiful, really.
For those of you who don't know the lyrics, let me show you a few lines:

What have I become?
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end
You could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

Truly amazing. And so, so touching. The song often makes me weep like a little child, because it really goes straight to one's heart and soul. If you haven't heard any of the versions, I suggest you do. Also, allow me to introduce you to Kermit the Frog's version as well. It's hilarious in a very sad and disturbing way. Enjoy, mates.

"Hurt" by Nine Inch Nails.
"Hurt" by Johnny Cash.
"Hurt" by Kermit the Frog.

Silly me

I was pretty bored this Sunday, so I took a shitload of stuff including shades, hats, my sexy severed hand and a flower for the hair. Well, I know that's a load of blah, but my point is - I took a fuckbucket of silly pictures. And I felt like you, my dear non-existent reader, ought to have a look. Of course, I've only uploaded three pictures. A bunch more can be found at my facebook profile.

Threesome, mhmmm

So yesterday I was in a threesome. But not the typical kind - it was my friend, Maria, and a hand. And not just any hand! It was this sexy fucker -

And seriously, it's not just severed and covered in blood. It plays the guitar too! It's a very sensitive hand, and it's quite attractive. Funny too. It touched us in all our special places. No one has ever brought me as much pleasure like this motherfucker. Seriously.

Here's a couple of pictures from this amazing last night.

Mhmmm, what a fantastic hand. I want to marry it and have little handbabies. If that happens, I will inclose pictures, of course. I know you're all dying to see my future handbabies.

The Love Guru

So I watched The Love Guru today. I've seen it before, when it came out, and I thought it was shite then. After watching it today, I'm hating it intensely. There used to be a time when Mike Myers was funny. Not anymore though. Maaan, it sucked hard!

Here's the facts:
It's written by Mike Myers and Graham Gordy, and it's directed by Marco Schnabel. Mike Myers plays the leading role (of course) and he does so without much humour or originality. Jessica Alba plays the love interest (why, of course) and tons of pretty decent, some excellent actors in minor roles. For instance - Ben Kingsley. He plays the Guru Tugginmapudha, which is supposed to be funny. He's cross-eyed and full of wisdom (cough!). Romany Malco plays Darren, a professionel hockey player who's AMAZING on the ice, when he's with his wife. Which he isn't anymore, because she's dating Jacques 'Le Coq' Grande, played by Justin Timberlake. A lot of jokes revolves around 'Le Coq's enormous cock. Ow haha, they name him Le Coq because it sounds like cock! Also, he has a guard rooster, because COQ means rooster in French! CLEVER. Oh god.
Mike Myers, the Love Guru, has to fix Darren's marriage and get Le Coq out of the way so Darren's team (coached by Verne Troyer, Mini-Me from Myers' Austin Powers serie) can win and the guru can get on Oprah and be the next Deepak Chopra.
Stephen Colbert (whom I love dearly) is one of the sports commentators and he's pretty funny, yet he could do much better if he had some good material. John Oliver from the Daily Show is in this flick too and he's pretty funny too. I may be biased, since I'm in love with John Oliver and Stephen Colbert, so ...

Here's the trailer.
Don't watch it, really. It's nothing but penis and fart jokes. I myself can laugh at that sometimes, but these have all been used before and there is nothing funny about this movie, except for a scene that involves Verne Troyer after the credits start rolling, where the director (I think) asks someone to get the cameras pointed right, 'cause all he sees are asses, and Troyer remarks 'Now you know how I feel'. But that little treat isn't worth the entire movie for.
I don't recommend it. Really. Don't watch it.

Embarrassing music № 2

So I decided to get on with the "Music I like, but feel embarrassed about" thingy, and this post is about ... Snow Patrol.

Snow Patrol is an Irish band and they're supposedly alternative, but they do seem a lot like pop music. Well, not pop music like Britney Spears and whatever, but very soft, not very rockish and like ... mum music. My mum likes them! Ergo, mum music.

But I love listening to them at night or while walking in the evening. It's very sweet music and the lyrics are lovely when I'm in the right mood. Like the song "Chasing Cars" that they got a smash-hit with a while back. These are the lyrics from the last part of the song.

All that I am

All that I ever was

Is here in your perfect eyes

They're all I can see

I don't know where

Confused about how as well

Just know that these things

Will never change for us at all

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me

And just forget the world?

So dearie lyrics. The songs "Set the Fire to the Third Bar" with Martha Wainwright, "Open Your Eyes" at Live Earth and "Planets Bend Between Us". There's a tons of amazing songs that I'm way too lazy to find on youtube, because god knows it takes years to find good-quality videos that AREN'T bloody covers.

Also, look at the performance during "Open Your Eyes". The frontman, Gary Lightbody, has so much fun being on-stage and I can nothing but respect that. I saw them live myself a few months ago (with my mum, sigh. I know I'm not cool) and they were actually really great. He can sing live, thankfully, because these days not a lot of people can - for instance, Katy Perry. And he danced like crazy, even during the more slow songs. And he had fun and interacted with the audience and everyone was having a great time. And that really made me more 'okay' to admit that I like this ... pussy kind of band, because I could really respect his passion. I honestly believe he does it for the fun and satisfaction of it and not MONEY.

So Snow Patrol. Embarrassing Music № 2

It's still rock'n'roll to me

So, I know I said I had taste, especially when it comes to music, but I actually like Billy Joel ...

"Just the Way You Are" won me over after a friend of mine recommended it and I enjoy listening to it at night, when it's dark and I'm alone. Weird, really, but I enjoy most of my music like that. There's just something about the dark and music. It doesn't matter if it's Queen, The Cure, Iron Maiden or PJ Harvey. Everything just sounds better at night, amirite?

Anyway! Billy Joel. "Just the Way You Are" - very nice song and just how one of them romantic lovesongs are supposed to be. Accepting another person for who they are.

And gosh, I'm embarrassed by myself, but even songs like "Tell her about it" and "Uptown Girl" brings joy to my little world, and they make me smile. And, of course, "Piano Man" and "New York State of Mind" are really great too, despite the fact that it's not normally my style.

I like to go on and on about "my" style, but truth is I listen to a lot of different music. I can go from Peggy Lee to Elvis Presley to Queen to Nirvana to ... whatever. I could go on forever.

But Billy Joel. My awkward music love number One. More will follow, I'm sure.
Hey, I'll do a series on it. Music I love, but I feel embarrassed about loving. It'll be fun!

OH GOD, JOHN HUGHES IS DEAD?!

I love that man's movies! His death blows my mind, he's a legend! 80's teen angst flicks, what can I say? I've seen them all!
Director of Sixteen Candles; Ferris Bueller's Day Off; Planes, Trains & Automobiles AND BREAKFAST CLUB! I watched that film twice a day for two weeks some time ago! I love that movie with all of my heart, and dear old John Bender! Sigh, such a nice flick.
And producer and writer of Pretty in Pink; Home Alone; Flubber; 101 Dalmatians; Dennis the Menace, I mean - ALL the movies I watched as a little kid!

His death is such a shame; he was only 59.
So rest in peace, John Hughes. You will be missed.

What is this, asshole day?

So there was this GIANT asshole at work! He made me so fucking pissed, it was unbelievable. It was around 7 or 8 am and he came into the bakery wanting a shitload of things. There was a nice queue, so I was just a tiny bit stressed. And in my hurry to run down the line of people waiting, I put his Danish pastry in the same bag as SOME OTHER Danish pastry OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! IDIOT ME! I got verbally abused and he's all "How unprofessionel, you imbecile! That's just not good, okay? Oh, fucking hell." And then apparently, there's only 'three' pieces of pastry in the bag, when there was supposed to be fucking six. Douche couldn't count, there was FIVE.

My hearing isn't perfect, so I hadn't actually heard that he wanted two pieces of the same pastry, so I gave him one. AND OH MY GOD, AM I A FUCKING MORON? Some more abuse.

When he stormed out of the shop I had to hit something and I needed to do something with my hands, so I went out in the back and got some frustrations out. My co-worker took care of the next customers, she was pissed on my behalf so everybody got a little tense.

But I'm off work now, so I'm gonna chillax for a little while before I head off to the big city to watch my mum dance ... Yeah. MY MUM. DANCING.

I'm adding a couple of pictures of myself, because I'm such an attention whore.

Love me ...

Me?

I never really got around to introducing myself.

This is me with a statue of ... someone. He had a naked lady on his tie, that's all I know and it's enough. Her tits were nice and round. Oh, what a lovely chest of stone she had.

Anyway. I'm a stupid, typical teenage girl - except I have style and taste. Like my music taste, for instance. Favourite band is Nine Inch Nails. God, how I adore that music. Saw the band twice last month, once in Berlin and once in Denmark, my country. I died and went to heaven.

I will probably post some of NIN's lyrics every now and then, when I feel the need. We'll see.

Right at this moment I'm bored. Which is why I'm doing this, of course. I'm lying all alone in my kingsize bed in the dark with my dearest laptop, craving company. Sigh. I'm such a needy whore.

You are too. Boo.

Within my stomach

... is my food. Despite not having eaten anything today, except some stuff at work(some stuff I say. Could be anything in any amount. But I mean, I've had a little, neat lunch). But hello, come on, I work in a bakery, I'm bound to eat every now and then! I also had some bacon when I came home ... Bacon's good ... Real good. If I could, I would wrap myself in bacon and eat myself. I swear to god I would.
Anyway. This is my first blog ever and I'm not entirely sure what to do with it. I bet you're bored as fuck, but hey, look at the bright side - so am I. Which is why I'm doing this anyway.